Ted Cruz Voted #1 in New York Poll

(New York, NY) – Senator Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun), was recently voted #1 in a poll published by the New York Courier. The newspaper conducted the poll after Cruz’ recent visit to Yankee Stadium.

“We’re not quite sure how we feel about this award,” said a Cruz spokesperson from the Senator’s office in Cancun. “The Senator may respond via Twitter when he sobers up.”

“It was a no-brainer,” said Sheila Taxter, a native New Yorker.

 

“Yeah, we hate that bitch,” said New Yorker Stan Fremont.

 

“Oddly enough, no one else made the list,” said Courier reporter Kevin Clarence. “The poll sure does emphasize how New York feels about Ted Cruz.”

 

“Yep, Teddy boy is for sure #1 around here – especially at Yankee Stadium,” said Arnold Morris, another native New Yorker. Morris illustrated his statement by displaying the same “#1” gesture Yankee fans used during Cruz’ visit.

 

“We’re not sure how they feel about him in Texas,” said Clarence, “but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s number one there as well.”

 

“Yep,” said Texan Chris Johnson. “Rafael Ted Cruz is number one around here too. He’s pretty far ahead of the number two guy, Governor Greg Abbott. Although Abbott is gaining ground on Cruz.”

 

“Cruz goes to New York, to Cancun – every damn place but the place he is supposed to serve,” said Alice Weaver, a Houston resident. “He’s got a house around here somewhere, but rumor is that only his dog lives there.”

 

Twitter users noted a late-night tweet from the @TedCruz account, after the poll was published:

 

“I likely won’t return to Yankee Stadium any time soon,” said the Senator in his tweet. “New York is a terrific place, but my time is better spent in my home city – Cancun.”

 

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